Self Confidence, or the Lack Of

So, hello, I am no longer a music major. I am officially a Computer and Information science major. It's funny that I'm in the mathematical sciences department and I absolutely hate math. I suppose I should explain this random extreme change in degree choices. So here goes.

It was that one class. 

So all the music majors have to take a class called "Keyboarding" which is preparation for the Piano proficiency test that all music majors have to pass. Me, being a piano major, was put in the Advanced Keyboarding Class. Advanced? Joke of the semester.

I do not know scales, or key signatures. Or the circle of 5th's. Or intervals. Everyone else in that class did. Here's the catch - I was going to have to learn all of them by the end of the month so I could pass the exam. Needless to say, I was freaking out. How does one do that anyway - I had never really taken theory and my old piano teacher never taught me scales. It was beginning to really stress me out. I was going to have to play in juries, and one of my voice classes required a solo. It was entirely too much pressure, especially for a first-year in college and someone who had never been in a classroom setting.

That aside, I was only a B.A in music, not education or performance. Job? No.

That class planted the seed of doubt in myself I had had been playing with for a while. I listened to all the other piano majors practicing - they even messed up pretty (if at all...while practicing). 

So, after a lot of tears (and I mean a lot, and in front of my advisor), I changed my major to CIS and I'm now minoring in music. I think I made the right decision, but I failed to note some things about my self that were very important - I had completely no self-confidence.

1. I was the only first-year piano major

Those piano majors in the practice rooms? All upperclassmen. So I was comparing myself to upperclassmen. Yeah, probably shouldn't have done that.

2. I DID pass the audition.

Yeah, what happened to that? In a teary conversation with my advisor, she told me that I had auditioned very well and she thought I had a lot of talent. She told me I didn't give myself enough credit.

3. Just because I'm a CIS major doesn't mean I can't pursue piano.

Contrary to popular belief, you DO NOT have to major in what you love the most. Sure, I actually really love technology, but I also really love piano. (they wouldn't let me double major.) Also, my piano teacher/advisor told me she still considers me a piano major, and is going to have me learn all the same things the piano majors are learning. So, basically, piano major with out the degree certificate. 

So basically, I lacked self-confidence, and I got scared. I started to switch my major for the wrong reasons. However, now I feel like I made the right decision in the long run for my future - now I can pursue music without all the pressure.

So anyways, I guess the point of this post was have self-confidence?

My next post will be on K-Pop...

Why Yik Yak Will Be the First Website I Hack

So I suppose by now that a lot of you already have heard of that anonymous twitter-like website, called Yik Yak. For those of you are who are not up to date about this app, I will explain it in brief.

Yik Yak, created on November 3rd, 2013, is a location-based messaging service that is entirely anonymous. It resembles a twitter, without having to log in or choose a username. As Yik Yak's website states: "Send and receive anonymous messages based on your location. No sign in, no profile, just chat with anyone around you. Choose your message radius to reach different amounts of people." A person can post and vote on posts without anyone having to know who they are. Sounds great, right? Not really.

Since anyone can post anything with having to say who they are, everything is posted on this website, with no sense of filter or morality. It is overrun with profanity, unpure thoughts, and unkind, bullying verbal behavior. Yes, once a post is voted down enough times, it "disappears". However, that doesn't undo the damage it has already done, and sadly, once something is on the internet, it never really goes away. 

Last week the first-years at my college had what they called "Intruder Training", which was a lecture on how to handle yourself during a dangerous situation, and to stay safe. The person giving the lecture mentioned how one of our academic buildings does not have lockable doors or furniture that you can move to cover yourself. Her point in saying this was that we needed to make sure we got out of that building as fast as possible, were the college campus to be under threat. 

Shortly after this session, someone posted on Yik Yak a statement that people who were in that academic building the instructor mentioned were pretty much dead if there happened to be an active shooter on campus. My college, wanting to make sure that everyone was safe and eliminate the possibility of a threat, locked the building down and checked everyone's backpacks before they went into class. 

As you can see, one small anonymous post on Yik Yak led to many people feeling unsafe and unrest on campus. Because of the easy accessibility of the website and the lack of filter, the person who posted this comment had no second thoughts - after all no one would know who they were. I go to a Christian college, and the use of this website bothers me - I want to protect my brothers and sisters in Christ and participate in an uplifting community. Yik Yak is not helping that. 

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29

I'm Alive and Drowning in Homework

Hey guys,

So sorry, I haven't been posting in a while (obviously) and I wanted to get something out there to let ya'll know I'm alive. College is great, but I have a ton of homework. I'll try to get something of consequence out sometime this weekend. Hopefully between piano practice and homework I'll get some free time eventually....