Notes on the Last Day at the Office

I finished my schoolwork in late March this year. I was excited to be done, after all, it was the end of my high school days. I then began looking for work. (Mistake #1 - Don't wait until you are done with school before looking for a job) My art teacher had said that there was this Christian arts and music camp that was hiring for the summer. So I applied there first, kind of assuming I would get to work there since my teacher recommended me and said that I had the job. I didn't apply anywhere else and April came and was passing fast. I wasn't hearing back from the camp, so my mom told me to apply other places. Still pretty confident that I had the camp job landed, I applied to a local restaurant and Giant.

Well today ends my days working my office job. I just got back from a dentist appointment (those are fun), and thought I'd do a little post about my work experience while I have the time. I don't know how much time I'll have to blog while I'm at college, hopefully at least once a week.

I've learned a lot working at this office. I want to share the story of how I got this job, because I feel it marked an important checkpoint in my life about trusting God.


It was late April when I finally heard back from the camp. I wasn't hired due to a lack of space for more positions, they simply had filled everything with returning staff. This was a shock and a huge disappointment - I was really looking forward to working at the camp, and thought I had my summer planned out. But God had other plans for me.

Frantically I applied to around 20 other places, freaking out. I needed money for college, and the Penn State students would be taking all the jobs soon. I applied at Giant again, who I later called and they had apparently "lost" my application.

By the second week of May, I had given up. As a last hope, I applied to Giant again. They called me in less than 5 hours of me submitting my application and wanted to schedule an interview. I was so incredibly happy and thankful - I thought I was on Cloud 9. I got the job at Giant, and thought that my life was perfect (well nearly).
My mom then called me one day the next week after I started at Giant and said that a family friend had found a place for me at an office of a company that someone in our church owns. I was hesitant at first - I had the Giant job and I wanted to keep it. I then realized that I needed money - so I interviewed and got the internship position there. I really wanted to keep Giant, so I switched my availability with them to nights, hence why I have two jobs and work 12-15 hour days and nearly 60 hours a week.

But you see, I was so worried about finding a job when God was in control the whole time. He had a bigger picture in mind, while I only focused on the fact I wasn't working at the camp I wanted to. I was over-blessed. I wanted a job really bad - I needed a job really bad - and I got two. Too much job.

Who Deserves Respect?

My family does devotions every morning after breakfast. They are really short, but are a great way to start the day. Today we talked about honoring authorities; and what that means when one is a Christian, and how to follow God by honoring others.

Since I got a Facebook account, I have realized that a lot of people disagree with the government; not only do they just disagree, they are very adamant about their opinions. And most of them want to share their strong opinions with a wide audience: everyone on Facebook. Recently there has been a lot of this, people complaining about our president in a degrading and disrespectful way which made our family devotion very thought provoking. So who deserves our respect?

Romans 13: 1-7 says the following:
"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience." (ESV)

Now it is important for us to realize that just because we are to respect authorities, does not mean we have to agree with what the person over us says and does. It means we are to respect that person(s) because God set them in place over us. We are to honor and respect them because we are to honor and respect God.

There is also the fact that God made them, just like He made us. So they deserve respect on that level already because they are God's creation and a human being like everyone else.

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Romans 12:10. (ESV)   

So who deserves our respect? Everyone, even those who do wrong.

"A Little OCD?" Never Saying That Again

I have recently become aware of the fact that I have OCD. In a big way. It never occurred to me that some things I thought I did just because I was weird were actually part of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. For a long time, I thought that OCD wasn't really an actual problem. I thought it was just something someone uses in conversartion to laugh about being meticulous or particular about something. I was wrong. OCD is an actual condition people have, and is something to be taken seriously. For the past week, I had been wondering if the things I have problems with socially and other odd things I do were a sign of OCD. They are.

I took some different screening tests on various websites, and they all came back that I had moderate to severe OCD. Now I realize that things on the internet cannot always be trusted, and that I probably shouldn't be too bothered by it. However, pretty much ALL of the symptoms listed applied to me. While this was scary, it was also relieving. For the longest time, I thought I was unnormal and that something was just strange about me that no one else has and that wasn't any specific thing. It was good to know that there is actually a reason why I do these things and a name for the condition.

Something I also realized is that OCD is not just about being super organized and picky about things. Becuase if that is all it was, it really would probably not be that serious. However, there is a much bigger picture here. Feeling the need to be even in everything (i.e. constantly evening out your shirt, your food, doing something four times so it feels right.), not being able working with other people, not being able to touch other people, and germaphobia are all things I struggle with on a day to day basis and are also a part of having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Another intresting thing is that obsessions play a hand in this disorder. This doesn't surprise me at all. OCD follows a pattern of obsessions-anxiety-complusions-relief-obsessions in a circle. People who have OCD use obsessions to deal with anxiety and to bring relief. I don't think this is neccessarily an bad thing, but it definately confirmed by self-diagnosis.

I am considering seeing someone about this, I will be talking to my mom a little more about it. It's dominating my life in so many ways I didn't realize.

On the other hand, this is how God made me, and this is how he wanted me. All I can really do is pray that He would give me self control and contentment and ask Him to take away false fear and let me be at peace.

Science and Faith

I really enjoy listening to music while I work on various art projects, it inspires different themes for my artwork. I usually set up my kindle on the table where I work and listen to Pandora. I really like Coldplay, the Script, One Republic and Maroon 5 (some songs are sketchy, I "thumb down" those ones.)
I found a song that I really like by the Script called Science and Faith. It explores the idea that love and faith cannot be explained by science. Although the Script is most likely not a band with Christian members, the song's message had an element of truth. Whether people like to admit it or not, science is not the answer to everything. True, alot of things can be explained by science, but since God is the creator of everything, the essence of everything cannot be explained without him in the picture. I was reminded of this during a conversation at the dinner table about astronomy. I really love astronomy, and have taken it as a school subject for about two years now. It fascinates me. (This may have something to do with Doctor Who) But alot of the theories in my textbook are very Big Bang focused and not Creator focused. When I said this to my mother, she pointed out that God could have used the Big Bang to create the Earth and the universe and such, but not in the way scientists believe it happened. Personally I lean more towards 7-day creation, but what she said is true. A lot of parts of the Bible were not intended to be taken literally. None of us were there when creation happened, so none of us really know how exactly the Earth and the universe were created. We only know that God created it. It says somewhere in Hebrews, I believe, that a thousand years is like a day to God. If we took that passage completely literally, then when it says in Genesis that God created the universe in seven days, that could mean 7000 years. So who knows? No one will know the exact answer until we reach heaven. But it doesn't really matter how God created the Earth, does it? Just the fact that He created it and what He created is ridiculously amazing.

Of Mermaids and Dragons

Today at breakfast my family and I had an interesting and deep conversation about creatures in mythology. My sister Rebekah started it by telling us that a seven year old in her school class said she watched some television program where scientist "found" a mermaid. Really now. So this opened a whole can of worms about strange creatures and we came to dragons. This got me started talking because I really like medieval history and legends.

From the way I see it, there is truth in every legend (I think the Doctor said something similar in an DW episode- the Doctor's Daughter?). I think there was probably some sort of form of dinosaur left on Earth during the medieval ages which are our "dragons". I watched a commentary by Ken Ham a couple of years ago in which he states that dinosaurs may have seemed to blow fire because of very hot breath due to their large bodies.

As far as mermaids go...No.

The Haunting of the Library

Ok, so maybe posting will be somewhat random. I lied.

I work at the library once a week for about three hours on Wednesdays (sometimes shorter, sometimes longer), and I LOVE it. I think the library is one of the best places in the world. It is a place that has a rule for quietness! Seriously, amazing. But really. I read alot. Well sort of. (I like to think I read). Actually I haven't been reading much at all. Manga doesn't count does it?

One of the things that catches my attention while I am at the library is the lack of people. In the book sections. I am beginning to think that people don't read any more. About 75% of the people that come in while I am there are showing up to use a computer. I mean seriously, get your own or use a tablet. I suppose that isn't very gracious but it makes me sad that most people don't read actual books anymore. I really like to read, I even like Shakespeare. (If your surprised, read the blog title).

Anyway to get to what I was writing about to begin with. Haunted library. Sounds like something from a movie, right? Today I overheard some conversation about while working today. Right now, spirits and such are a hot topic at the library due to a strange occurence. The library asked specialists to come in and determine whether spirits and ghosts were roaming about the bookshelves. (Hello? you know Halloween is over, right?) Seriously wacko. Needless to say, this has induced some interesting stories from other people about their own expiriences. Apparently the next time something falls off a hook and hits the basement stairs I should blame a ghost.

I suppose things like this really seem odd to me because I'm a Christian. (you're probably thinking: "Isn't that even the more reason to be afraid of spirits?) However I feel no fear, I am going to heaven when I die. And God doesn't send spirits to disturb us. Haunted library? I don't think so.